Wednesday, November 28, 2012

What woud Greater looklike to me?

I  don't want to look back with regret.  The moments I have taken the words I have heard either from another person or ringing in my ears and jumped forward.  I don't regret.  Feeling like a fool or receiving an up and down from those prisoner to society is not my motivation.  I "know" they don't matter...but somehow I still hold on to a resentment. For their judgement for their coldness - it seems to bring up feelings of anger.  "how can THEY be like that?"  Maybe I am angry for what I am not being ?  Maybe what I judge in them is really something that seems obvious to me and they really don't get?  Maybe , just maybe noticing their faltering keeps me from moving forward to my purpose.  I mean after all , "I KNOW " I shouldn't care about what others say and do so why even give it a second thought??

Greater to me will look like ... or more aptly FEELl like butterflies in my chest...anticipation and excitement.  I see all around me Jaded hearts.  I am far from perfect but I know that is not me...and yet in moments that I feel that anger toward someone else ( not caring about someone else, being selfish, creating a negative impression of someone else, not noticing the person next to them, not saying hello to someone they must recognize) where is MY  GOOD HEART?  If I "get it so much"  why am I not praying for them?

God help me be a person who does a greater job of turning to you with my fears, my dreams, my desires, my pains.  Show me what I am to do and show me clearly when I am focusing on others when I should be focusing on me, not in a selfish way but in a way that promotes caring and giving.

I am impatient, for others to "get it", to be ready, to comply, for God to "give me" my desires.  God let me have more patience.  Open my eyes to the lesson you are sending my way instead of my focusing on my inconvience that of course will slow me down (and I have no patience- hmmmm, maybe I'm getting something here??)

God please help me be less direct and more graceful in dealing with situations that break my stride.  Bless me with peace in waiting for the next moment to unfold.  I give you control and trust everything will be Greater, for it!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Make my life GREATER!

Well started another online bible study "Greater"by Steven Furtick.  It's  a very simple book, that motivates my faith to do more, be more, feel more...I look around every day adn don't get the lack of caring.  Lack of caring about being kidn and good to other people.  The lack of feeling out lives our worth something,  Worth a cause to celebrate , which comes though in the joy we share with the world.

We are to be the light of the world...the salt of the Earth...We must feel that sense of expectancy to share exhuberance.  There are days we all are not "there" but when there are more days with out Joy than with...are we praying to God for something GREATER?  Do we really believe it is possible.

I pray for  clarity in the decisions I am making and that God leads me to a place that I feel my soul soar every day.  I trust and feel strong sense that I need to make changes and step in to the unknown. I pray for strenght to deal with any potential obstacles and the grace I so often lack in dealing iwth them. I pray to spend as much time thinking about the many people who are doing the study and the whys as my own.

I stole a song of another lady's blog.  It's always been a favorite and it so perfectly fits with this  study...I just don't want to be going through the motions...I long for something much Greater.  God please lead me!!

The Motions – by Matthew West – lyrics
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”
No regrets, not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life